By Barry Silverberg
As someone with high Emotional Intelligence, I have benefited from its advantages and suffered from its challenges in my personal life as well as during my 50+ year nonprofit career. So I asked my ChatGPT to share the positives and negatives of high EQ. Here is the useful outcome.
In the nonprofit world, we often celebrate emotional intelligence (EQ)—and for good reason. It helps us build trust, strengthen teams, and lead with empathy. But what happens when this strength goes unchecked?
Turns out, high EQ—while vital—can come with hidden costs, especially in mission-driven, emotionally intense environments. Here’s what I’ve seen (and lived):
1. Burnout from Over-Empathy – When you feel everything, it’s easy to carry the weight of the work. Over-identifying with the communities we serve can lead to emotional fatigue or compassion burnout.
2. Blurry Boundaries – Saying “yes” too often, taking on extra roles, and working unpaid hours may feel noble—but it’s not sustainable. High-EQ folks often struggle to draw the line.
3. Avoiding Tough Conversations – Trying to keep the peace can mean avoiding necessary conflict. That means performance issues go unaddressed and teams miss out on growth opportunities.
4. Enabling Dysfunction – When we’re too understanding, we risk excusing patterns that harm team culture or productivity. Compassion must include accountability.
5. Emotional Manipulation – People may (knowingly or not) exploit our empathy—using guilt or emotional appeals to sway decisions or sidestep responsibilities.
6. Over-Prioritizing Feelings in Decisions – High EQ can slow or derail necessary changes when leaders fear emotional backlash—even when those changes serve the mission.
So what’s the answer?
We need balance. Lead with heart and backbone.
✅ Set boundaries.
✅ Embrace “empathetic accountability.”
✅ Don’t shy away from discomfort.
✅ Let EQ inform—but not control—your leadership.
In nonprofits, emotional intelligence is essential. But it’s most powerful when paired with courage, clarity, and a commitment to sustainability.
👉 Have you experienced this tension in your work? How do you find balance?